Embarrassingly Long Pause

Whoa! Embarrassingly Long Pause . . .

After a few mo[nths]ments of uncomfortable silence between what was an over-promissory initial stab at a blog and this, my sophomore attempt, I will proceed as if that arbitrarily lengthy (and entirely unmerited) sabbatical never happened . . . . . . . . . . . .

 . . . . . . . . . .

Cool.  No excuses . . . just results.

The Results:

No results, so far.  

I need metrics in order to create results.  I have pledged that all proceeds from this blog will go directly to fund the salary of a vigilante crime-fighter to reduce violence and evil in this city.  

It goes without saying that the tier of crime-fighting ability will directly correspond to the level of salary my blog proceeds allow.  

I'm shooting for the upper echelon of experienced hero, but, in the event that I am not bought out by Bain Capital in Q1 2013, I have listed some [one] contingency plan(s) beneath my top choices:

Platinum Level Batman

I don't think this even needs to be explained.  He's a man . . . but he's also a bat.  He has a sweet car, an elderly butler, a voice like he has a cold (I love my voice when I have a cold . . . so deep and gravelly . . . I just want to talk to people all day long and give them my cold).  

Batman, unfortunately, is also aware of his level of kickbuttedness, and all of that vocal machismo comes with a fairly steep price tag.  I might be reaching a little bit for this one.

Gold Level Superman

Wow . . . so, just like that, Superman takes a backseat to Batman? He can fly! Yeah . . . because he doesn't have a sexy car.  Also, Clark Kent looks like Atticus Finch, whereas Bruce Wayne looks like James Bond.  

(yeah . . . I guess Atticus Finch IS pretty cool though . . .)

Silver Level Atticus Finch

I felt a little guilty after that last one.  This one is here just in case taking down criminals requires more litigation than assassination.  

Bronze Level Spiderman

Eh . . . identity crisis.  Overrated.  "I'm reserved and sensitive yet bold and moderately ripped, and I'm into Kirsten Dunst" . . . "I want to do Broadway; I'm too dangerous for Broadway" . . . "I have big hair and a British accent, and I'm more of an Emma Stone type of guy who co-created Facebook".  This waffler will be out of work in a few years, and he may be available on the cheap.  Still . . . reaching a tad . . .

Stainless Steel Level it's stainless, so it's better than regular steel

Okay, so this is likely the level of skill I will be able to swing (i.e., the aforementioned "contingency plan").  

In truth, this isn't really a seasoned crime fighter.  It's actually just the guy on my block with the most cats.  I think his name is Mel or Mick or something.  

These cats work for free, and they perfectly combat the most plausible threat to the survival of NYC . . . rats becoming more powerful than people.  

I saw a rat with a power tie last week, and he looked pretty confident. Not everyone can pull off high-sheen lavender.  Salt-and-pepper fur . . . I felt instantly inferior.  I let him have my seat on the bus.

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Pictures

I'm still new at this, so, right now, my blog is a bit dry and texty.  (sidenote, I love the fake word "texty")

Here are some pictures to spice this up:

rabbits in clothes

the future

That was fun.

I'm going to cut this off here.  Now that I have re-started this blog, subsequent posts will not constantly refer to the fact that this is a blog.  I might even find a purpose.